~Flummoxative

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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Helena16/Female/Philippines

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Stay Dreaming

by ~Flummoxative, May 30, 2012, 7:19:40 PM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / General Non-Fiction / Stories & Vignettes

_{you are pale in the half-light;

all the fire you carry with you in the waking world is doused in the sweetness of your hair across the pillow & your frame insinuating itself in the sheets, in pockets of weight & pools of shadow that say "i am a body", "i am a girl"

(vulnerable yet terrifying)

& in life you are larger than you seem, thunder & lightning inside colored glass. you are cruel-mouthed but soft-eyed, & brittle queen (you would rather break than bend for me), you are all the lovelier for your frail-boned pride.

it is strange how much i see of you when you are not looking back, how i feel as though it is only in moments like these (in not-quite-daylight, in dreaming) that we are truly at peace. for is it not that our natures may be likened to those of sea & sky? were we not born to crash & storm & shriek & boil against one another? (what is the nature of the place where we meet? for i do not believe in the horizon; blue on blue, it can only be an illusion. the sky is endless, the sea is endless, &, awake, we will never see the sun, & we will never truly touch)

& if only you were to stay dreaming, maybe it would not have to be so, but the light is never 5 o' clock blue for long,

& then your lashes flutter & your breathing quickens (& the people at the seaside, oh, how they quake) &

you open your eyes.}

_nonpareil.

Wildflowers, Imperfect Birds

by ~Flummoxative, Dec 27, 2012, 7:13:12 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

_{I breathed your name like wildflowers under vast broken skies, in wide-open spaces. The wind blowing through them spoke of dew and dirt and petrichor, and there was sunlight on the ground like a mosaic patterned by god's own hands.

I said it like a monarch claiming new land: a declaration, a butterfly breath over old earth; like it was coffee on a warm morning with the sun in my eyes, interlacing with my lashes; like it was a dream; like it was a prayer like it was a miracle wrought of air and bone and body: you, in, out, in, out, in and in and in.

I cried it out like an earthquake between lip and lip, continents that don't quite fit: your name, a fault line that doesn't know how to apologize.

And I whispered it like it had grown nothing where there should've been feathers, no wings to fly it on, like my lips were the nest it would always call home.

So I breathed it,
And I whispered it,
And I said it,
And I sang it,

Like a castle; like a mirror; like it was the big bang and everything all at once, for the first and last time.

And I know I'm only searching for something I might just call mine.}

where i dance alone

by ~Flummoxative, Oct 4, 2012, 8:22:42 AM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

_{i. I mistook a shy boy for a thunderous one in the days when I lived inside his lungs.

ii. I wanted your hands in the early morning, or in 8 o' clock light. (Does it matter? I just wanted you.) Hands like paper cranes, hands like wind chimes. Then we could've been like lovers in a parody: "I love you, I love you—no, I don't. But you are beautiful." And while I was not your lover, neither was I your queen. Either way, you wouldn't hold my heart.

iii. Our fingers would've taken flight and then the rest of us, too. Then you would've known of the ballroom in my chest, the migrations inside my body, of the tiny secret nothings that make their way like monarchs—as if by instinct, as if they have been here before—from ballroom to piano hands to the museum that is my mind to my stomach. But you are the only lost boy afraid to fly.

iv. I was a foreign land and you would not dare travel without a map. But I do not possess a souvenir shop in which to purchase one. I am a destination and not a stop along the road, and if you come to me, you stay, and that is why you never had to leave.

v. I took strange for wondrous and unknowable for mysterious. I thought that shyness was sweet and strength was beauty.

vi. I am the only one who will have my heart.}

^{a study in wanting and never having.}

sunflowers.

by ~Flummoxative, Sep 14, 2012, 12:14:20 PM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

_{they will see her and they will say,

"she was loved, but now no longer.

dry earth
and paper-pressed sunflowers,

she is the vision of a dead summer."}

I Hold You In My Heart

by ~Flummoxative, Jul 3, 2012, 1:37:21 AM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

_{i. In variance to the stagnant nights
and the starving rains, you are
a country waiting
for the sun.

(You deserve so much more than me
if I only come to this land
intending to leave it.
I'm not a girl worth
living for.)

ii. I know someone
whose heart belongs across the sea.
He has the soul of a star and I know this,
though I do not know him,
not ever,
not yet.

I have buried sparrows with
him, too-tall and big-boned.
He made me believe
and believe but sometimes
I forget that he
is still so much a boy.

iii. Unforgivable
and unforgettable,
I will hold you in my heart.

Remember
that it is never too late for love.

iv. I want him
still, this silent, dazzling,
lion-boned boy.
He reminds me of the days
when there
were words in my hands
and dreams in my lungs.

(Breathe for me)

v. Guileless
and without apology, you
unraveled me.
My heartbeat was alive, I
was alive, you
were alive in my
fingertips.
You have made me brave.

(For is it not
the greatest of gifts,
to be loved on this earth,
to be held
by the hand?)

vi. Distance divides but
love is love to satisfy.
You are the boy
(you are the boy)
I was born to remember, forever and a
December. Keep me with you.

vii. You are a pillar in my heart,
the designer of
my blueprints. You are
a firestarter and
an unutterable gift and
the only one who will not
have these words.

You have never needed them
from me, never needed me.
But I will keep them
for you, for the boy
you have been and the woman
you are making me. For the dreams
that died when he did, for the life
that you have built, and for the strength,
for the backbone
of your spirit.
(And you will always
be the greatest)

viii. Though we have spent a summer
apart I still
see you the way
I always did: charcoal dust and
cordite and an unrequited heart.

The only one who stood to save me
as all the bridges burned.

ix. There are bodies, then there are countries.
There are souls, then there are galaxies.
There is you.

There is you, and the tumult of
your heart and the vagueness of
your eyes and the strength of
your secrets and the way I wish for
the things you dream
in silence,
that one day I might know them
all for there is still so, so much
to be learned from loving you.

x. And I can see it
now, the way the world
would work
if everyone lived
as you do, loved
as you do.

I believe in every song you sing
and every girl you dream of, how
you will teach her guitar chords
or take her flying and know
that there is nothing, absolutely
nothing wrong
with giving what you have,
that which
is everything.}

Newest Deviations

reinventionI should've met you
when I still had it in me
to change my own namereinvention by ~Flummoxative

10 Comments

soft down your south side by ~Flummoxative

6 Comments

TributeShe came back to me undone, brazen & alone & alive, awash in morning light, with mockingbirds braided ‘round her ankle, with her soul cradled in the arc of her foot, & took me outside. She came delicately, barefoot through the days I had sat alone, hush-hush through the grass & gold, came & laced fingers through my mind & called to me, down through the years & the hallways of my heart where the dust of you had long lain undisturbed: "He is no longer here, but I am.”

I have found the voice that left with you.Tribute by ~Flummoxative

37 Comments

straight and fast by ~Flummoxative

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_{“Muses work all day long, and then at night get together and dance."
-Edgar Degas}

Browse Gallery

Favourites

Tattoodo not write poetry
on your skin
unless you mean to contemplate
impermanenceTattoo by *glossolalias

33 Comments

walden by =vvolatile

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MusicianIf you ask me again
then you do not know

there are certain truths
that I keep sacred,
three laws that I abide:

Do not steal, do not
inflict harm upon
your fellow men,

do not delay love.

This is the order
to my existence.

Rules are my way of coping,
love is a path to harmony.

This is the song of the universe--
three consecutive beats,
my brother's pale origami,
your brown eyes on a Cerulean stage.

In playing the violin
you will learn how to shatter the sound
of cosmic silence. You will learn
how to cry.

Three things will play
with persistence, the resounding
truth of your mortal ideology

that you are regulated
by frequent tenderness
Musician by ~MariaTala

4 Comments

ContactThese words
"lips", "you", "us"

they falter

in my tongue's
secret dialect.

Written in sequence,
"Kiss me on the lips."

Our whispers flood the skies.

River goddess
rain is etched on your skin.

They call it asul when my lyric
and your eyes meet,

it turns infinite. We transgress.

When it comes undone,
unfurling into the river of Myth

let us comfortably share silence
with the god of the departed.

Anointed, bough-heavy
in the aftertaste of streams.

Oh, river goddess
when you are carrying the sky
and unburdening wildlowers
it all tastes like rust
and the bitterness
of sweet-smelling perfumes.

--

There is a strained song
ringing in my Contact by ~MariaTala

6 Comments

_{"Well, label me very impressed and ship me to Carthak."
-Nealan of Queenscove from First Test by Tamora Pierce}

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~Flummoxative

Helena
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature

Philippines

_{Hi, I'm a kid. Poet, doodler, sometimes-photographer.

Helena, 16 and forever falling short, I believe.
More often than not I find myself in love with the ideas of things rather than
the things themselves. (that's romanticizing for you)
I live primarily in my subconscious and that's where you'll find me if you ever go looking.
Thanks for stopping by. (I like a beast and run)
Life is brilliant, and it is for living.

"I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way." -Robert Frost

People I love in particular.}

twitter.com/hellnahh

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hrhiasgkjlhblj

by ~Flummoxative, Apr 14, 2013, 5:30:29 PM
Journals / Personal

_{I've been so busy not being online and stuff that I MISSED MY TWO-YEAR MARK.

April 6, I was attempting to get through my inbox and quickly losing interest and I thought to myself 'Oh, April 8's coming up. That's cool.' and I log in today and realize I completely forgot about it.

...

Oh well. Not like I was planning a party... Or even care about anniversaries... Or was expecting presents...

My sleep deprivation talking aside (I was up the whole night reading, which was what I was doing while I was away-ish. Catching up on my reading.), speaking of my inbox, I've made good progress and I will -probably- be done today! Working on a very fat lit feature of lit that has stockpiled so watch out for that; if you're a watcher and I'm watching you and you're reading this, you're probably in it.

I found something awesome recently [link] It is the greatest : la : you will ever encounter, if you haven't yet. I would try to recreate it here but I'd most likely mess it up so I won't even try.

Anyway! In honor of my two-year mark, if it's quite alright with you, could you tell me eeeerm 5 things about yourself? I'd like to get to know you (more). (yes even you creeper) And if you wish it I shall tell you 5 things in return.

I hope you're all having a great day.}